AAA- Adoration, Admiration, Appreciation
Here is a great and inspiring article for the month of February from
Proverbs 31 Ministries.
This was a great article for me to read. Words of encouragment are so helpful in a marriage. Enjoy reading this article and may it make you ponder a little.....
February 2006
AAA Club of Marriage
By: Sharon Jaynes
Are you a member of the AAA Club of Marriage? You didn't know there was such a thing? Well, there's not an official one that you can call if your marriage breaks down, but I have one I keep in the back of my mind. It stands for adoration, admiration and appreciation. Did you know that big, tough man of yours longs to be admired? He desires for someone to think he's brave and brilliant, loving and logical, tough and tender, handsome and humorous, masculine and magical. That's the stuff of your man's dreams.
What does it mean to adore your husband? Basically, it means to love him with all your heart … and let him know about it. George Eliot once said, "I like not only to be loved, but to be told I am loved." Do you want to see your husband's face light up like a full moon? Tell him you are amazed that he knows how to _______, or that you are impressed by his ______, then sit back and watch him glow.
When the TV cameras pan the sidelines of a college football game, my heart melts when the young men wave and say those precious two words: "Hi Mom." It's almost like they're saying, "Look at me! Look at me!" The truth is, men want to be admired by the woman of their dreams. It starts out with Mom, and then continues with the Misses.
Where does your husband go for adoration, admiration and appreciation? He goes somewhere. All men do. Does he go to work in hopes of hearing, "Job well done"? Does he go to the ball field in hopes of hearing, "Way to go, man"? Does he go back home to Mother to hear, "I'm so proud of you son"? Does he work late in hopes of a few compliments from the gals in the office? Does he hang out at the gym flexing and building his biceps? Where does your man go to be admired?
In my first job as a dental hygienist, I noticed how the all female staff, as well as the patients, admired the male doctors in the building where I worked. I admired them too! They were a wonderful group of talented men who were skilled in their profession. As a young girl in my early twenties, I wondered how the doctors' wives felt about all the praise their hubbies received.
Amazingly, a few years later, I had the opportunity to find out. After working for two years, I went back to school to get a Bachelor of Science degree. There I met and married Steve Jaynes, a young dental student. When he started his practice, I remembered the admiring women from years before, and I made a commitment that of all Steve's admirers, I was going to be his number one fan!
In his book, "Her Needs His Needs," Dr. Willard Harley says, "When a woman tells a man she thinks he's wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more. He sees himself as capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level. That inspiration helps him prepare for the responsibilities of life. Admiration not only motivates, it also rewards the husband's achievements. When she tells him that she appreciates him for what he has done, it gives him more satisfaction than he receives from his paycheck. A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become if he lived up to her standards. For some men - those with fragile self-images - admiration also helps them believe in themselves. Without it, those men seem inherently more defensive about their shortcomings…. While criticism causes men to become defensive, admiration energizes and motivates them. A man expects - and needs - his wife to be his most enthusiastic fan. He draws confidence from her support and can usually achieve far more with her."
If you have been withholding admiring words from your husband, it may feel strange to begin. First and foremost, be authentic - be real. If you contrive admiring words, he will be able to tell. Start with one compliment or word of appreciation. It may be as simple as "thank you" and soon the admiration will begin to flow … hopefully both ways.
Not all men are admired at work. If work is a place where your husband meets opposition at every turn, or leaves him feeling like a failure, he will search for someplace to be admired. It could be on the softball field, on the racquetball court, in the church deaconate, or in an on-line chat group. How wonderful it is when that place is in your heart, in your arms and in your home.
You become the mirror in which your husband sees himself. So if he's looking sort of glum lately, maybe you need to renew your membership in the AAA Club of Marriage and try a little adoration, admiration and appreciation around your home. n
This article was taken from Sharon Jaynes' book,
"Becoming the Woman of His Dreams."
Posted by Linette at 10:34 PM
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